Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Cover Copy For TPN#15 (1997)

the ten page news number fifteen we turned one year old sometime in the
last month or two we were too busy to notice
fourteen issues in a year
is pretty good for a monthly in our opinion especially when we started
out as a quarterly we do seem to be slowing down though time will tell
our beloved muse shauna also has a birthday this month shell be
mumbledymumble years old on october twentyninth
keep those cards and letters
coming the ten page news number fifteen
october nineteenninetyseven publisher owen thomas
pee oh bee nine six five one
columbus ohio four three two oh nine
you ess a editor vlorbik at delphi dot com copyright
the integral of e to the ex power is equal to eff of you sub en pubs limited
aitch tee pee pee
colon slash slash people dot delphi dot com slash vlorbik rates
sixtyfour cents a copy
five dollars for a nineissue subscription comical tip
gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme that there white
paragraph union intersection is a subset of minusplus union for all
minusplus vertical rule composed with intersection punctuation by
vlorbik it has come to my attention that certain authorities actually
support the omission of the serial comma ive always felt that people
who wrote in what is apparently the standard example red white
and blue for red white and blue were careless or illinformed
i now learn to my horror that the comma before the and in such a
series has long been abandoned by newspaper editors harper
dictionary of contemporary usage william and mary morris sure enough
the new york times manual of style and usage sez in general do not use
a comma before and in a series unless the other elements of the series
are separated by semicolons automobiles buses and trains were stalled
have you ever seen anything so stupid in your life what were these tonedeaf
barbarians thinking of listen buses and trains now try automobiles buses
and trains you can hear the comma its really there doing it their way
makes it sound like automobiles buses and trains ive always hated this
ugly mistake but it had never even occurred to me that anybody might
actually recommend it never mind require it the kings english aitch
doubleyou ampersand eff gee fowler says that the removal of the comma makes
so little difference that it is an open question amoung compositors
whether it should be used or not as if the existence of differing points
of view implies that the question is unimportant try this abortion of the
fetus makes so little difference that it is an open question among citizens
whether it should be allowed or not and anyway what the heck is a usage
manual for come on guys take a side wilson folletts modern american usage
has a nice long article four pages on the subject clearly in favor of the
correct usage of the reasons for omitting the comma only one is cogent
the saving of space in the narrow width of a newspaper column this saving
counts for more than elsewhere which is why the omission is so nearly
universal in journalism folletts also discusses a few examples, but for
my money theyre all needlessly complicated my favorite example comes from
arthur dee hlavatys zine deragoatory reference number seventynine i would
heartily recommend teresa nielsen haydens making book she can write
fascinatingly about the serial comma pointing out that its absence led
to the remarkable book dedication to my parents ayn rand and god this
example should be decisive who cares if its probably apocryphal
there are other references to serial commas in dee arr the editor works
as a temp and freelance copy editor and likes to complain of his pet
peeves with bad software and sloppy writers i just figured this was
one we had in common i cant get over it its as if i had learned of a
society whose customs required people to pick their noses in public
im grateful to misti crow and alden scott crow for bringing this
revolting state of affairs to my attention their onepage monthly
grammar cue ampersand a is available for the asking send a stamp from
pee em cee communications box one nine four eight fair oaks california
nine five six two eight tell em vlorbik sent you gimme that gimme that
gimme that gimme that gimme that there white tip blue car blue car
an autobiography part one owen thomas i finally got a learners permit
at age nineteen in thousand oaks where id been living like a hermit
on coffee pot and rum and cokes now back in school a lack of patience
for classes during my vacations had kept me out of drivers ed but
something had to give i said of course id rather do things my way
and walk or thumb or ride my bike but i cant have things as id like
this californias one big highway its best to take things as they are
id better learn to drive a car and so my then best friend bob
shaffer agreed to bring me up to speed i know a car that you could pay
for ill teach you everything you need but what about repairs dont panic
this car was owned by a mechanic its in great shape it runs just fine
it sounded like that classic line the only owner was some granny who
never drove but bob was right i got the car that very night a sixtythree
pushbutton tranny plymouth valiant not much rust it turned out worthy of
my trust i made a hundred dollar payment and owed another then id bought
it breaking up the debt this way meant i could pay with ease i thought
but then my boss at howard johnsons whose every word was arrant nonsense
said although it pains me i have got to let you go goodbye i thought
i knew his secret reason id worked there for about a year and paid vacations
cost them dear its always bellboy shafting season so even though i had
enough to make the payment it was rough gimme that there gimme that there
gimme that there white tip zineage indy ana jones i wrote to some of the
distros in last months indy unleashed ampersand am buried in zines look for
another eye you soon meanwhile here are a few ive been meaning to get
around to reviewing for a long time damn number two is sixteen halfsize
pages of grim ampersand gritty writing by six authors with unclassifiable
illustrations by four artists the longest piece ampersand
one of the best is the jay mans story what the bell means the jay man
publishes the jay man times reviewed in tee pee en number twelve but my
favorite by far is ashlys the man with the longest arms in the world in
rhymed couplets theres a nonfiction article by editor brian johnson on a
sixteenth century torture victim ampersand shortshort stories of madness
ampersand violence by anthony alba em cee mcdonald kenn pell ampersand
steve skeates its definitely not for all tastes in fact its not really
for mine but all the writing is good ampersand i enjoyed it surprisingly
well the same editor also publishes the zinereview zine funhouse reviewed
in eye you number one one dollar and an age statement brian johnson
eleven werner road greenville pee a one six one two five dash nine four
three four
damn pulling teeth from the jaws of death adults only number two one
point zero zero dollars the a journal for people who write and read
palindromes palindromist number two winter nineteennintysix political
palindromes centerfold john agee a great new palindromist cartoons
puzzles and seventytwo new original palindromes illustration by
paul tee olson but that probably wont reproduce the palindromist
number two winter nineteenninetysix is not surprisingly a journal
for people who write and read palindromes this issue has a lot of
politically themed dromes the opening single quote cum apostrophe
is in the original from the short gems taft fat ampersand not nil
clinton to more exotic offerings like rot aid al gore hero gladiator
theres a featured palindromist john connett the author of such masterpieces
as eva can i stack rods fatass dork cats in a cave ampersand a column on
books including ess wordrows forthcoming i love me volume one its
amazing what people can come up with while were on the subject


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