An Essay On Criticism (1998)

I've stuffed my Shelf with loads of learned Lumber,
Like Kant, and can't let sleeping Dogmas slumber.
"A little Learning is a dangerous Thing"?
Not so! A cat can look upon a King.
If Indy Ana Jones has not the means—
Nor Wit nor Art—to be the Pope of zines,
The best that I can do will have to serve
And others must decide what I deserve.

Mike Gunderloy, in nineteen-eighty-two,
Decided he'd begin a Zine Review.
*And even now, in nineteen-ninety-eight,
*His Factsheet 5 is still around, still great
*(Though, Some would say, collapsing from its Weight).
They usually find something nice to say,
Or don't condemn things outright, anyway.
Doug Holland's Zine World follows no such rule;
Indeed, they've been accused of being cruel.
In my opinion, Critics shouldn't shrink
From telling Readers what they really think:
Forgiveness can be less Divine than Vain;
We shouldn't err by being too Humane.
I've often Thought (but never well Expressed)
That this is so. Yet Action is the test.
And, as for That, quite frequently I find
It's easier to be a Bit too kind.
So even if I think a Zine's no good,
I'll seldom say so clearly, as I should.
I haven't got the nerve for Zine World's Style
(Although, one time, I did call Pop Smear "vile").
*The Reasons why aren't very hard to see:
*I'd like to keep on getting Zines for free
*And do as I'd have Others do to me.
Since Everyone knows Everyone (the World of Zines is small)
And Nature's major Masterpiece is being there at all,
I must confess, quite frequently I've tried
To keep from hurting anybody's Pride.
Here, in any Case, are some Reviews.
I hope you like 'em. Read The Ten Page News.